Chapter 5 - How It Works [Page 65

< How It Works [Page 63 - 64] | How It Works [Page 67 - 71] >

Chapter 5 - How It Works [Page 65 - 66]

I'm resentful at:	The cause:	Affects my:
Mr. Brown	His attention to my wife. Told my wife of my mistress. Brown may get my job at the office.	Sex relations Self-esteem (fear)
Mrs. Jones	She's a nut -- she snubbed me. She committed her husband for drinking. He's my friend. She's a gossip.	Personal Relationship. Self-esteem (fear)
My employer	Unreasonable -- Unjust -- Overbearing -- Threatens to fire me for my drinking and padding my expense account.	Self-esteem (fear) Security.
My wife	Misunderstands and nags Likes Brown Wants house put in her name.	Pride Personal sex Relations Security (fear)
Download the Step Four Worksheet in .pdf Format Here. Acrobat Reader Required More 4th Step Resources

We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent [Page 65] was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, the victor only seemed to win. Our moments of triumph were short-lived.

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feeling we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.

This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. [Page 66] (next)

(top of page)
Printer Friendly Version

The Twelve Steps | The Twelve Traditions | The Promises | Bill's Story

Best viewed with Internet Explorer 5.0 or above.
Set your resolution to 1024x768.